Its hard for me to believe or remember life before our family of 4 right now. It is all starting to feel so normal to me.
My favorite memory from this month took place at Oh For Heaven's Cakes, in town. I wanted to get out with the kiddos and so showed up to this event. Once I got there I realized it was an event hosted by a specific group that I am not a part of.
Ellie wasn't all too interested in watching them decorate so we toddled about the store. I went to tend to Reid, who had started screaming and Ellie darted out the store and into the mall hallway.
The dreaded scenario was happening.
IT DIDN'T FEEL VERY BIG!
So, like any good mother would do, I left my infant child alone with a group of mother's I had never met to chase down my daughter who was delighted at the game we were playing.
After wrangling her, I stumbled back in to start to take very hungry Reid out of his car seat, only to glance up and see Ellie dart out again.
|Love his face!|
I was struck by my growth here. I did it! I was okay. Ellie and Reid were okay. And I was able to not only accept help, but enjoy it and not feel judged.
AND I had only sweated on my nose a little. (My not so secretive typical anxious reaction I can have)
Our little guy is so precious. Were figuring out life together. His schedule seems to be naturally unfolding and aligning to Ellies. I feel really happy about this one.
He is around 13 lbs now and 25in.
He sleeps in his room and typical is starting to look like sleeping for 6 hour chunks at night. PRAISE THE LORD!
He has two of the most precious dimples on his cheeks.
Often, people will ask who he looks more like or what Ellie thinks of him.
He likes to smile and coo.
His favorite spot in the house is his diaper changing station. If he's having a hard time, 99% of the time that will cheer him up.
|Scheels one morning.|
Ellie is such a little girl now. I still call her bug, short for love bug.
She really gets into coloring at her little table Rand built her. She likes to invite you into it, but typically tells you what colors you can use and when you can use them. She recognizes the color blue, I think it may be her favorite.
She loves her Elsa dress and is incredibly proud of it. She loves to show it to people when she is in it and gets sad when she has to take it off.
|Her hair is getting so long!|
She is down to one nap a day.
She peed on the big potty for the first time this month! We haven't started potty training yet, but I think this one is right around the corner.
She is starting to "read" books by herself.
We have started going to more play dates and I notice that, in large groups, it takes a bit for her to feel comfortable. She sort of scopes things out before she starts to engage.
She is becoming more and more independent and can fairly easily entertain herself.
Rand taught her to touch Reid's nose and go "boop". She really enjoys doing it to Rand.
Were on day 3 of cold turkey for the pacifier!
|Packed and loaded van!|
I think this second go at being a mom has allowed me to feel so much more hopeful. We are doing it! We are alive, the kids are alive, and I'm not sure I have ever felt more in love with the man who is by my side. If this paints any sort of picture of us having our lives pretty, orderly, and wrapped in a pink frilly bow, well, that is far from true.
But, admist the chaos I feel this taste of hope.
I know my God has us. Not in a silencing my soul and feelings kind of way, but The Guy really has us. I trust him and from that place I'm learning to trust and rely on my husband, and other people too. It's really this neat thing. I feel like I am going into battle each day. Against myself, mainly, but I'm starting to feel like I have warriors fighting before me and alongside me instead of more obstacles. He is transforming me. My heart. My desires. My love. My relationships.
Oh, PS, I wrote some about my homebirth story, but if anyone is every interested, intrigued or would like to hear more, feel free to ask!