Seay Family Tales. : 3 Months Old: Weeks 10-12

3 months old. This is craziness. It is so neat to watch little Ellie change and grow. She is getting so much bigger and seems really "long". She definately knows Rand and I well, but in the last few weeks I have noticed her, well notice other people too, differently. She seems to notice her enviornment differently and I can just see her soaking it all in. She often is content sitting on your lap and just watching what is going on. She likes to be included in things and will often "join us" for dinner, sitting on either of our laps while we eat or sit in her bumbo while I work on the computer.

I'm certain if she could choose to always be held and bouncing, she would, but I don't think that that would be good for either of us. I have often gone to Rand these last few weeks asking him what it looks like to know what she wants, but not immediately meet her needs. I want her to feel secure in my love for her, but I also know that that security isn't dependant on our world stopping when she is crying. I've finding there is no black and white answer. What I do know is that I just want her to know that I love her like crazy, but that sometimes I mess up in and don't love her how I would like to mom. I feel big enough right now to admit these things to her know and say sorry and hopefully, one day when shes much older, we can talk about that stuff.

It's been exciting for me to give myself grace in this whole parenting thing and not feel like I have to take on the weight of figuring out things like her schedule. We are starting to adjust her to and adjust to her wake times and nap times. I've been setting up nap times during the day and bed time and sometimes we even follow it. Those days feel like bonus days. She moved into her own room three weeks ago after I bought monitors and the transition has gone pretty smoothly. I wish I was sleeping a bit better, but were still not quite there yet. She wakes up 2-3 times a night, but Rand has started waking up with her in the mornings, which helps.

So here are a few new things I have noticed about her:

+She is sitting up so much more and can support her neck. This development is super exciting and fun because I am able to play with her more. I'll put her on my shoulders, do airplane rides with her on my feet, carry her on my hip, and stick her in her bumbo during my morning routine

+She is starting to like her tummy time because she is figuring out she has more control and can see more when she is on her tummy.

+She has little dimples coming in on her sweet cheeks.

+She likes to point her feet when she kicks. We tend to notice this when she is in her carrier.

+We started noticing this little tuft of hair that sticks up on the back of her head

+She likes holding your hand. Definately one of my favorite things!

+She likes to touch her hair and feel fuzzy things

+We had our first successful nursing experience in public, sort of, at a rest stop in the car.

+She has been giggling when we play peek-a-boo

+She can hold things so much better and will hold on to her toys, our mail, my necklace, my hair, and she has starting grabbing at plates and the table at supper.

Grandma got her a few new gadgets that we will hopefully be using soon like an activity center and johnny jumper and I have found quite a collection of new outfits for her at garage sales and second hand stores.

Rand and I celebrated our two year anniversary yesterday and enjoyed a fun meal at the toasted frog and an episode of the office. We're a few years off the mark, but we are definately enjoying the character development in the show. Rand caught me off guard one day and was pretending to be dwight ;) Rand has been working really hard at creating a new website to feature his work and it is looking good. Outside of The Office, we've enjoyed reorganizing our limited storage space, discussing repayment plans for student loans, a few bike rides, long walks, and a few tennis matches in the last few weeks of the summer.

We have continued dreaming about a home and I recently have taken an interest in healthier eating, cloth diapers, and Martha stewart stencils. The concept of dabbling in things is new for me. My typical pattern is to discover something new and then feel the need to figure it out, develop a system, or just do it, which is typically exhausting, overwhelming and anxiety provoking. Needless to say, I have had quite a few days of taking on things new things, but I am learning to "put them on the shelf" when they start to feel big and taking them out when I want to. The words that best describe why are "it is for freedom that christ has set you free". Slowly, I am becoming more ok with my sin and my mess as I fight the daily battles and weighted tugs of cleaning, grocery shopping, thinking about business ventures, exercise, and being a mom and wife. I feel grateful for a husband that is there to listen and fight the battle with me!

The next month we are planning to be in the cities nearly every weekend and I am going to be spending a week at my parents house in the twin cities and get to see my dear sister, Michelle, and other family.